lexicution3r:

lexicution3r:

my mom is scREAMING downstairs right now about how there’s no chocolate.

“How can we NOT HAVE CHOCOLATE IN THIS HOUSE?”

“How is there NO CHOCOLATE???”

“DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT WE HAVE A WHALE HANGING FROM THE CEILING BUT THERE’S NO CHOCOLATE?”

image

(via incubutts)

geek-in-a-box:

rahilugh:

40maleuk:

will give head for food

how are you gonna eat it with no head though

this is the most innocent thing i have ever seen omg.

(via incubutts)

i-once-had-a-guy-tell-me:

I once had a drunk guy tell me I was too sexy to be shooting up at a party. He knocked the needle out of my hands and stepped on the pen, shattering the casing, telling me I should thank him by giving him my number and a kiss. It was my diabetes medicine.

(submitted by anonymous)

(via a-little-insane)

liamdryden:

annemarina:

are straight boys obligated to touch the top of every door frame??

We do it as an act of cleansing for the times our hands accidentally brush against our bros’ hands

(via andrewlx)